We exhale comparison because we inhale competition…
This is the current playing field of society in which we live. Competition and comparison are one and the same-insecurity-based, negative and self-defeating. Comparison to others is part of our conditioning. Daily multiple messages are received in this manner. However, you are not powerless, and you can think, unthink, rethink and accept or reject what you will.
In associating with others, one depressing tendency common to the human condition is comparing oneself to others. You will notice that this bad habit is usually unfair and rarely productive. Still, it is almost second nature and easy to do without realizing. Seeing it and stopping the practice takes rethinking and a conscious effort to view things differently, and to therefore approach situations differently with a different perspective. It’s a great time at the beginning of 2020 to begin work on stopping the process of comparing of self to others.
It is definitely one thing I am continuing to work on.
My job as a health educator is to help you sort through the clutter and steering you toward reliable, accurate information while avoiding the industry-skewed and funded or misinformation. There is a lot of it out there. There is a life to live that is yours with happiness to discover. It is easier to be happy when healthy and it is easier to be healthy when you have reliable health information to go with in your own pursuit of happiness. This is information that the preponderance of evidence supports.
Spiritual health, mental health, physical health. That covers a lot of ground. In some ways we people are very similar, thankfully, such as our 26′ small intestine and small, flat teeth. In other ways, thankfully, we are quite different such as in personality types, in preferences of soul food, or for music, movies, plays, pets and concerts.
I saw The Nutcracker over the holiday and loved it as always. Live music, (or live anything) is almost always the best.
Anyhow, finding clarity is part of wellness, so that you can stir your inner musings and cultivate your creature, and he/she awaits awakening with keen anticipation. When you are filled, I submit that you will naturally give to others.
I learned this lesson at some point during my journey. This is one reason why I limited myself on social media. I discovered that it is not social media, but anti-social media.
So much time on social media causes our creature to lose touch with real interaction, missing social cues, body language, facial expressions and voice tones.
Quite often we bump into somebody that we haven’t seen for a while and it is natural to stop and chat to catch up for a bit. Notice that when this happens, and as we catch up, if we perceive the person to be more successful, lucky, etc than ourselves. As they tell us about their family, their house, or vacations, often our first nature is to think: “Man! I didn’t get a cruise to Mexico!” It is a depressing thought indeed; notice your mood and vibe drop as soon as you have that or similar thoughts. That is why we learn and continue to correct those problematic thought processes.
Instead, simply be happy for them. In doing so, you are already on your own path to joy, fun and happiness.
When you find that you are comparing yourself to others, or are feeling overshadowed by others’ successes, you may find it helpful to try the following:
• First and foremost, be happy for the successes of others, especially if it is in person, (such as bumping into somebody). You can actually say it to validate them such as: “That’s awesome,” “good for you,” or, “I’m happy for you.” Say it sincerely. If it can’t be totally sincere, than be as sincere as you can be. This acknowledges and validates them also. If you really are saddened by it, then you can and should do your own reflective work on it while alone reminding yourself to be happy for them and:
• Know that your turn for success is coming. (Staples, O. 2018. Empower Yourself). Why waste energy on the negative fixation of others’ joys and successes? What is stopping you from finding or doing your thing that brings you joy and happiness?
You are completely unique. (Staples, O, 2013.) You will see as I once did that in many ways, in the constant comparing of apples to oranges there is no comparison! Isn’t it ridiculous then that we all still do it. This was so liberating when I finally discovered and accepted this! Everyone has strengths, weaknesses and gifts. I say embrace your own gifts, let them show, and laugh at the weaker muscles. The laughter alone indicates mindfulness, which is the first step to begin rethinking and ultimately changing the bad habits. There you go; not so bad after all ay? “Ay, do they really say ay in Canada?” Is it ‘eh’, or ‘ay’?”
This takes practice, so be patient and kind to yourself as you work through it.
This concept along with others is discussed in my second book: Life Is Conscious. Live with Purpose. Abandon Fear. Coexist.
This is a gourd! If you slow down enough to use your imagination you can see things in its shape. To me it is a reminder that everything is a matter of perspective.
To you what does this gourd resemble?
It is tempting to tell you what I saw and some others, but I would like you to see for yourself without the influence of anyone else because you are unique.
Staples, O. (2018). Empower Yourself.
Staples, O. (2013). Life Is Conscious